Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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