do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
