Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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