It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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