He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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