Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
