no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
