after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize