Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there was a trapeze. enough said
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
