there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Randomize