I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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