I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
