So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
