I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
