Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
