After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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