ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize