I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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