so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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