party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
