So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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