Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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