I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
