He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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