I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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