If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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