I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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