Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
