Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
