Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
