k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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