my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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