Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
