That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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