just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
