You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
