You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
