She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
