I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
