Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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