Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
