apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
