his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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