I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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