we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
