Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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