you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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