This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
