how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
