..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
