This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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