if i died would you start the facebook group?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
