After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
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I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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