Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
