idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
