But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
well you can't waste a boner
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
