I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
