i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
